Johnny Buccelli's

Well we have reached the final stop on my Ohio tour.

I was driving back to Columbus from Oxford and was exhausted. The drive was rather boring and rainy. I was looking forward to just settling in for a nice beer with my burger. After reading so much about the German influence around Columbus, I was expecting something completely different from what I got. Johnny B's is a family joint in a strip mall not a cozy bar as I'd hoped. Somehow I did not compute the photo on their site.

As I got out of my car I noticed there were no neon beer signs. No sign is usually no good. The service was a bit lacking but maybe it's because I was an outsider and had no idea what to expect. I placed my order again for a burger I had already chosen. The Uncle Vito's Buccelli Burger. I decided on a strawberry lemonade as my non beer liquid. Again service, the lemonade took forever, but was quite tasty. Very sweet.




There was a layer of sugar at the bottom just daring me. Another boring place to wait for a meal alone. But I did pick up this newsletter "Coffee News" and read about a legally blind husband and wife sailing around the world. That puts life in perspective.

So finally my burger is called up. My burger, not my name as I was told.

This was a nice looking burger from overhead. Nice hearty pretzel bun. Now Johnny B's was chosen for their unique blend of beef and Italian sausage in their patty. When I reviewed the menu I settled on the Vito because of the blue cheese addition and my general distaste for red peppers. While waiting for the burger, I was quietly hoping it would not be drowning in crumbled blue cheese.





I should really watch what I wish for. This was the pathetic showing of blue cheese, and it's dressing at that.

This patty was everything it should have been. Juicy, good blend of beef and sausage. The sausage was neither overpowering nor an afterthought. They worked together in a wonderful balance. Aside from the lack of blue cheese, the other toppings of fried onions and sauteed mushrooms were plentiful. The pretzel bun gave the perfect sweetness to the whole thing. The fries were decent but O-rings are probably better based on the ones on the burger. This was another burger that I was happily eating when it hit me that something felt wrong... yea, the sweet ass lemonade with the Italian sausage - beef patty. If ever I burger demanded beer, it was this one. I don't know why every bar in America does not have a variation of this burger. The Italian sausage makes you thirsty and a nice lager would quench quite nicely. Old Bag O' Nails, Dub Pub, I haven't been to your establishments, but I think I'm talking to you. CBCB this is the burger for you (just don't jack up the price). Johnny B's get a liquor license.

I had to stop halfway through and take it to the airport with me to test the beer theory. While the bar there was closing, when I got it home some 3 hours later it was better with a nice cold beer.

Johnny's B's is so definitely a destination burger. If you like burgers and like sausage on your pizza you can't miss this place. Maybe it would work with Coke OK. But if I were you, I'd get a 6 pack of my favorite beer. Something hearty and hoppy not Light, or Lite. Then go order your burger and go home or to a buddy's place, whichever is closer. Oh, and if you're getting the Vito, ask for extra blue cheese.

I went to the Hamilton Rd one by the airport.

http://www.johnnybuccellis.com/

Maybe we will hit Indiana before we go home.

Cold Beer & Cheeseburgers

Mecca. Nirvana. Xanadu. I could live here. I wish there was one within a 3 hour drive of home.

X

Nope. No photo. You don't need to look for this place.

Those are the things I thout I'd be saying as I left CBCB. Instead, I was calling the Miller High Life hotline so they could come rescue their beer. The good people of Dayton know what's up. There were like 6 people there... on a Saturday night... with playoff basketball on... with the Cavs playing. I should have figured it out right there. But when you Google cheeseburgers & Dayton, CBCB's many locations pop up. So to set the scene, I had driven there after a long day of shooting (p's not g's) and had saved up my hunger since the Big Boy brunch. This was the burger dining experience I was looking forward to the most. Meeting other like minded people looking to enjoy a cheeseburger & a cold beer. Perhaps I built it up too much. Ok. I went in and sat at the bar. Got my menu and decided to learn from my Big Boy mishap and get the best burger for my taste. The Bomb. 1/3 pounder with bacon, cheddar and jack cheeses and BBQ sauce.

This barely qualifies as the burger described.

Barely two full strips of bacon. And pathetically thin bacon at that. This is diner bacon that is a ripoff if it costs more than $.50. Then look at the 2 lousy onion rings. While the O-rings are not a listed topping, either do it or don't. 2 O-rings are just insulting to my tastebuds, not some bonus topping. The BBQ sauce was regular KC Masterpiece out the bottle. This didn't bother me that much and the cheese worked well. The patty initially didn't offend me. Above average frozen with no seasoning. The cooking method helped it though. Charbroiling gave this patty its flavor.

Check out the chunky quality of recently defrosted meat.

You all have had this patty. This is the burger you cook at BBQs in your mid 20s. It's one of Kirkland's finest. Not the cheapest frozen 1/4 pounders, and not the nice 1/2 pounders you can really season. But by no means worth the $6.30 they are charging. My other issues, are that I think the BBQ burger is the best possible combination of frozen patty and cooking method. And I don't see a burger on the menu that sounds like it would work. Maybe if you build your own, but that's not $.95 worth of bacon. Really for Dayton, it's a bit pricey for what you get. Which is why on a Saturday night, the people of Dayton were somewhere else watching the game. Wish they'd called me.

Sadly this is not a destination buger. The beer is not cheap enough to justify the price for the quality or quantity of food. I just don't see a reason to go there. And you are talking to someone who can justify going back to Big Boy!

http://www.cbcbdayton.com/

Big Boy

Yea you read that right. Big Boy.

So why with limited time in Ohio, limited calories, and so many other options, would I seemingly waste my time (and yours) with Big Boy. Well a few reasons. First, I did not get to the hotel until near midnight. I had all the good intentions to get up early and head into Cincy to check out a great burger joint. But I was tired and slept in. Second, while I wanted to go into Cincy, I had no idea of where to go. Now the Cincinnati Burger Guys have a great guide on what is good. Check out their blog (link on right). But I had to be in Oxford to shoot (photos not guns) at noon for Miami's grad. So finding a burger at 9:30am wasn't going too well. Third, look a the photo. You see that the Holiday Inn sign. Well that's all the traveling I had to do. Fourth, curiosity. When was the last time you had Big Boy? I mean how bad can it be, the Big Boy is holding a burger. And last, I got sentimental thinking about the first I was in a Big Boy. But more on that later.

So I went in not expecting much, and wasn't shocked when I didn't get much. My server was a nice enough kid. I looked over the menu and went for the regular Big Boy. I did pass on the 1/2 pounder and one on a rye bun with Swiss. So I can't say they don't have more to offer. I did get my choice of two sides, and went with O-rings and mac & cheese. There is really nothing to comment on about the wait except that it's very clean.

The burger and sides arrived.

Big mistake on the O-rings. Talk about no taste. Most fried food is at least oily and tastes like it's fattening. These did not. No taste whatsoever. The mac & cheese, though, was decent. On to the burger. Poor little thing. I've had fast food prepared with more love. Happy you aren't if your job is assembling these. Also I suspect the same bun is used regardless of patty size.

So it basically sucked as burgers go. This burger will in fact disappoint anyone over the age of 10 and most over 80. It's something of a bootleg Big Mac with the whole third bun thing. I've never met I third bun I liked. I don't know why I expected better. Well maybe because my first Big Boy experience was with my Grandparents when I was 9 or 10. I remember it rocked, but it had to be the company not the food.

So in it's own way Big Boy is a destination. Go there if you are 6-10 years old. If your child does not have a car, take them. Do not order the regular Big Boy, it's not (and maybe never was) as good as you remember. Get an adult burger. Order something involving bacon, mushrooms, even rye, but no third bun. You will get decent food in a clean place, and they may get a good memory.

http://www.bigboy.com/

Thurman Cafe

Welcome to the Ohio leg of my cheeseburger tour. I have to first apologize to all of the wonderful cheeseburgers in all the burger joints I was not able to try. When you only have 3 days and plan on 4 burgers in that time frame, you have to plan ahead. So with the Internet as my guide, I narrowed it down to 3 places to go while in Columbus, Dayton, and back in Columbus.




I flew into Columbus Friday night. I landed around 9pm, got the rental car, and headed to my first stop, The Thurman Cafe. As always, not being familiar with the area, I sailed right past it. But I quickly found parking and went inside. There is a cool locals vibe in this place. You enter into a front room where people are sitting and drinking like it was the living room at a house party. Complete with dim lighting from the neon beer signs the scene was only missing a bong and beanbag chairs. I went into the back bar area where there are like eight booths, some high tables and the bar. The walls were covered in one dollar bills with names on them.

No really, these things were everywhere.

Mo money! Mo money! Mo money!

We will review them next time I'm in Vegas.

So I asked the woman at the bar if it was cool to grab a back booth. No was my answer and I was told to sign some guest book in the front room. I signed in and went back to the bar for a beer while I waited. She asked if I was alone, and then invited me to sit at the bar. I sat down and got ready for my experience to begin. She handed me a menu. There was really no need. I had known all week what the first burger was going to be, the Thurman Burger. I ordered it and took some more photos of dollars and had a Great Lakes beer.

My Thurman arrived and immediately the bartender said, "let me get you some utensils".

Dude. I just stared at it for a moment.

Rotated it

And just tried to understand what to do. That's bun, American and mozzarella cheeses, ham, sauteed onion, mushrooms, 3/4 pound beef patty, tomato, pickle, lettuce, mayo, and bun.

I did try to pick it up, which was useless. So to the fork I went. I think it goes without saying that this was an amazing cheeseburger. The good people at Thurman's know what they are doing. This is a work of art. Happy are you if your job is to assemble these everyday. If you look at the patty closely, you can see little green bits of some seasoning. This patty was well seasoned. Almost a meatloaf quality to it. It was juicy, quite tasty, more than enough of all the toppings to go around. Everything I could want and much more. But then why did I feel something was wrong? Uh, yea...I was eating a cheeseburger with a fork. This was a brand new concept for me. I have had giant burgers that you have to cut in half, or do some deconstruction, or even smush. Heck eat it like a taco, but never a fork. This burger was transforming itself in my mind from being a great huge cheeseburger, into an open faced ground meat meal.

Before I continue with this one sided debate, I will address one of the other issues I had with the Thurman. Onions. This is a common issue I have with onions being too plentiful. Also they may not have been cooked enough.

Back to the fork thing. You will also notice that at this point the bottom bun was completely gone. All the mayo goodness had soaked in and helped the shear weight of the burger collapse the bottom bun, forcing you to continue to use the fork. So even if in some bizarre universe I may have been OK with the idea of starting a burger with a fork, under no circumstance was I cool with eating the entire meal that way. It just felt wrong. I think I should have been given an option. There are many buns that could stand up to the Thurman even with the mayo on the bottom bun.

So my conclusion is that this is still a destination burger. Go there try it. You may not have a problem with the fork thing. Better yet, try one not on the take out menu called the Thurman-ator. I believe it's a double of the one I had. But when you get it first thing you need to do is flip on on the top bun if you don't want to eat the whole thing with a fork.

Thurman Cafe

183 Thurman Ave

Columbus, OH 43206

Phone: (614) 443-1570

http://www.thethurmancafe.com/

Next up... Big Boy. I know, I know. But I had my reasons.